Cunnilingus and Fellatio have been practised since Man and Woman became aware of their sexual desires for simply pleasure and connection rather than just procreation. They are both acts of kindness, domination, subservient and power, depending on whether you are giving or receiving.
If there is one thing I quite can’t understand then it is those people out there who do not enjoy oral sex and I’ve met these people face to face. I remember a Male friend of mine never let his partner give him a blow job because he “couldn’t kiss her lips ever again”. A majority of guys I know don’t go down or at least admit they go down on Women, some even see it as quote “disgusting” unquote.
Every time I see that episode of ‘Sex & The City’ where the brunette, Charlotte, starts dating a guy who keeps trying to get her to give him a blow job. We see her resist on a few occasions but then it starts to become an issue.
In the end, he leaves her because receiving a blow job is that important to him, he’s prepared to leave her for someone who will. Whilst Charlotte is annoyed that a guy couldn’t sacrifice a need in order to be emotionally involved with her.
To some people, it can be an important part of the intimacy and connection. But it also comes with a certain amount of hidden power and permission behind it.
Whenever I have received a blow job in a relationship with a Woman, it has usually been because of a ‘special occasion’. This can vary amongst couples and age groups, sometimes it’s once in a while, to others it’s once in a blue moon. Then there’s the situation where it happens all the time, because the Woman loves to give it or the is too subservient to his domination.
Whatever the reason, if you’re going down on someone then it’s best to follow some sort of Etiquette.
For Him
- Shave. Unless you have a big bushy beard and she likes that. If you have a stubble then be considerate and have a shave otherwise it’s like rubbing sandpaper all over your woman’s groin area. Especially if you’re a rampant rabbit with your tongue actions.
- DO NOT look at her with any of the following expressions: Self-Pity, Remorse, Doubt, Fear, Laughter, Anger, and Disgust.
- Make sure your nails are kept short. Cunnilingus usually doesn’t just involve your tongue so if you’re going to rubbing around her clitoris with your fingers or shoving in her pussy then make sure you’re not going to do some internal damage.
- Be wary of venturing that tongue further down to her anus unless you know she likes it. It might be a complete turn off for some Women, so ask her if she’s ever tried it before you lick her rim like something eager beaver.
- Do not stop unless you are sure she has reached orgasm or she tells you to stop. No one wants to be left all hot and bothered without any release.
- Do not kiss her straight away unless she invites you to do it. Some Women love the taste of themselves on you; others may vomit in your face.
- If you are the one receiving head, don’t grab the back of hers and force your cock down her. She’s quite capable of doing it herself unless you have that trust and understand to be rough. If so, enjoy with caution.
- Don’t Cum in her Mouth unless invited to. Some Women just can’t handle the taste or texture of semen, it’s nothing personal. They should tell you what’s ok, if you want to cum on their face like you’re a porn star, best let them know too. Semen in the eyeball apparently stings.
For Her
- It’s not made of steel so be careful before you go tugging away on it like it’s an inanimate object. Especially if the guy is not circumcised, the penis is extra sensitive.
- Whether your guy is well endowed or not then there’s no harm in boasting his ego by telling him how big and hard he is. You’ll make us feel like Kings and we’ll probably cum quicker if you’re stroking our ego as well as our dicks.
- Be variable. Whilst most our senses lie in our penis, we can like our balls to be played with too so give them some attention.
- If you’re adventurous and try and little prostate massaging, best talk it over with him first. Shoving a finger up an unexpected guy’s arsehole is a fast train to Limp Dick.
- To Spit or Swallow? As a guy I would recommend that you swallow if you don’t mind it, it’ll make it more of an enjoyable experience for the guy seeing you receiving and swallow his semen. It makes us feel good and Manly.
- If you really have to spit, don’t make a good deal about it. Some Men might not care what you do but I am sure I speak for most Men when I say we’re offended if you’re immediately spitting up in a bucket seconds after we ejaculate.
- Facials. Thanks to easy access internet porn more and more guys want to cum on your pretty face. It’s an experience to say the least but try it once, just so the guy can get it out of his system.
- If you’re the one receiving head then offer some direction rather than frustration. You don’t have to be direct either, use your body language to suggest a rhythm or a motion you want. Be careful to not criticise your man as he’ll be offended and feel he’s not “man enough” for you. Use your subtlety.
I hope you’re all enjoying 69′s after reading this post.
Mr X
I just wrote about these topics under my Art of Oral 1 and Art of Oral 2 posts on my page. We obviously think alike; though, you are coming from a male perspective and I am female. Excellent post. If you get an opportunity, please feel free to take a gander at my recent posts…I think you’d appreciate them. Following!
Mistress M
http://www.giveheadandheart.wordpress.com
Thank you for your comment. I will certainly check out your blog, it already sounds interesting!
So, here’s an interesting question. I have a dear friend who cannot abide receiving oral sex, and has a very difficult time attempting to explain this when she starts a new relationship, (though she has no problem going down on her guy). Do men really love performing oral sex or is it more that they think women want it. Generally speaking of course, since we are all different. And what is the appeal?
Thanks for the comment and question.
I can’t think why your friend does not like receiving oral sex, do you know her reasons against it?
As for Men, loving or hating it, I think it’s 50/50. I’ve met some guys who hate it, but I believe half of them still do it, they just feel it’s not a masculine thing to admit doing. Other guys like to brag about it, because they want to boast they can bring a Woman to pleasure. Then there are also guys like me, who genuinely love it, but I suggest if you find a Man who does like doing it then I believe he must be good at it and knows what he is doing.
Perhaps your friend has not met a guy who’s experienced and knowledgeable about performing great cunnilingus. Her opinions and feelings about the act may take a different perspective after.
Just called her .. She says it turns her off because she can’t imagine going own on another woman, thinks it’s totally gross, so when someone does it to her it’s all she can think about. Makes me wonder where that came from…
It sounds like she has some issues with her own self-esteem and value as a Woman. I would suggest that she gets in touch with her feminine sexuality and embrace it. Actually, if you every watched Sex And The City, there’s an episode where Charlotte has a very similar issue as your friend does.