Q & A with a Penis – Part 1

29 Nov

Question
Hi, as I understand you read my blog and know what my job is. So I would like to ask you as a man, about the things that give a man the biggest pleasure. I mean…I know how to give pleasure to a man…But maybe you could widen my horizons and tell me some tricks I don’t know to improve myself in it…so, blowjob – ok, anal sex – ok…maybe there can be some special techniques in blowing or touching a penis? Waiting for your recommendations, thank you, X…

Answer: Hello, thank you for your query on a very important subject *wink* Pleasuring a man can often be overlooked and understated. Yes, us Men have most of our erogenous zones in our genitalia but it does not mean that all you have to do is get us hard, give it a constant tug and suck. Although we love sex, especially blow jobs, there is a difference from just getting head to getting amazing fellatio.

Now, I must stress that each Man has his own preferences and tastes when it comes to pleasure so I’ll try to cover more than one scenario. Personally, orgasms for me reach the next level when the head of my penis receives most attention. For the record, I am circumcised which can make a huge difference. For those Men who are uncut, the head of the penis will be a lot more sensitive.

For those of us who are cut, the head is probably 80% of the pleasure zone, think of it as our version of the clitoris. Pleasure it too much and it can get too sensitive for us to climax, not giving it enough attention will mean we’re not going to end soon.

My partner has it down to a fine art. She probably spends 5 to 20 minutes on foreplay, kissing on the lips, on the neck, down the nipples and eventually towards my crotch. The testicles can be a pleasure zone, but be aware that they can be extremely sensitive. Too much attention can actually make me lose my erection.

Teasing the Penis is important. I like it when my partner strokes the frenulum (banjo string) near the head of penis with her tongue. It’s important to use your hand too. Usually the job is separated into two sections. When pleasured by her mouth becomes overly sensitive, she stops and switches to using her hand which gives a different sensation.

The handjob is massively important here for those Men who are uncut to those who are. I’ve had many occasions where a Woman has started wanking my erect penis from the base or halfway. This works better for Uncircumcised Men, as the extra skin means that the main pleasure points towards to top half of the penis are being hit.

For those of us who are circumcised, you should invest in some Lubricant. Preferably a flavoured lube, because it’ll make giving head more enjoyable for you and in return more enjoyable for us. If you have a guy who is circumcised and want to give him a great handjob, use the lube and make sure your hand goes from the bottom all the way to the tip, without pulling the skin. It’s the opposite for the natural guys.

What usually has my penis exploding is when my partner is sucking the head whilst also giving the rest of the penis a hand job. I’m getting hard thinking about it now.

Alternatively, I have a friend of mine who enjoys it when his wife slips a finger into his anus. Now more common knowledge, you will probably know that the Male G-Spot is located here but you should always communicate with your Man about doing this before attempting it. You may be surprised how many straight Men actually like this.

Overall, I also stress that the best thing a Woman can do to make sure she’s giving the Man the most amazing time of his life, is to enjoy it. We do get off on the fact you are enjoying it too, maybe it is because we’re very ego driven but it won’t help massaging our ego here more than any other time.

So, compliment us on our penis, the length or the girth or the shape. Make sure that when you give head, it’s a passion of yours. If you look like you are looking at the clock, we can tell. It can put us off.

Hope this information helps, if you want me to elaborate on anything, feel free to comment.

If anyone would like to submit a question for this Q&A section then please e-mail it to themalepov@gmail.com

Mr X

 

The Mistakes Men Make When Online Dating…

16 Sep

After witnessing a male friends dating profile, I was left shaking my head. What I saw was a calamity of mistakes. I also have some male friends who are aware they need help in this area and have given me the green light to help them create a better dating profile.

Having used online dating in the past, I consider myself someone that talks about it from experience. I remember when I first signed-up, I had no idea what I was really doing and that’s the message I get when I see dating profiles.

At the time, I had a few female friends who were also on the same dating site. Their experience was very different, whilst I was moaning about the lack of messages; they were bemoaning the tons of messages and many which bordered on the lines of harassment and the pathetic.

I sat down with a flatmate of mine and asked her to log in and show me what happens. We’d only been logged in for 30 odd minutes, and she’d received over a dozen new messages from guys.

There was a typical theme. There were guys, usually with a profile picture of them topless, would send a message saying “hey babez wana cum n chat 2 me sumtime”.

Then you had the essays, no not Mexican friends, but guys who’d actually written several paragraphs of prose for a first-time message to my friend. I suspect some of them were copied and pasted, but others look personalised towards her profile.

Unfortunately there was nothing good about these essays other than sending off alarms how needy, insecure, desperate etc. these Men were. Examples would be apologising for messaging her and talking about themselves in a negative tense, like ‘I can’t, I don’t, I lost’.

And of course there were the obscene messages which caused a few female friends of mine to leave the site. I guess there’s only so many ‘i wanna lick your cunt’ or ‘send me your dirty panties’ messages a Woman can take.

Finally it leaves the typical blokes, Mr Average, the nice guys – who send the polite message but get ignored because of all of the above.

It was clear that the site was not attracting Men that my friend or other female friends would want to date, at least from first impressions.

Online dating is a tricky business. There are people who are on there to be perverse, some are on there to just make new online friends, others want to find a fuck buddy and some hopeless souls are looking for The One.

In general, I think a big mistake most Men make is they become a little fake and disingenuous.

Those guys who are only looking for casual sex will usually express how much they want a relationship on their profile or if not, then in their messages with Women, because they think that’s what Women want to hear.

I think it is easy for guys to become dishonest on the site because of the competition and process. An attractive Woman on a dating profile does not have to do much after she signs up, other than filter through all the messages and approaches she receives to see if there’s anyone worth messaging back, never mind actually meeting in person.

Taking my friend I mentioned at the top of this post as an example; he’s a pretty frustrated chump. Having got nowhere with online dating previously, despite sending messages to a number of Women, he’s taken an antagonistic approach.

Using photo shop or some other device, he’s put the words ‘You Won’t Talk To Me Because You Are Picky And Shallow’.

He may feel like goading the Women on the site will work, for them to show that they are not all picky and shallow. It may work for some, usually those lacking confidence themselves but generally it’s too hostile for a dating site. After all, a dating profile should be welcoming and laid back.

Seven of his other pictures consist of him holding alcohol in his hand with no other people in these photo’s or particularly interesting backgrounds. I am pretty sure Women who love to drink every day find this attractive, but most will be clicking next.

Details like height, weight, smoker, pet owner etc. usually have no validity as, in my experience, found most people lie here.

What is more important is the About Me section. The piece of prose where you have to ‘sell yourself’. I was shocked when I saw the section of this guys profile because, he is a writer and thought it would be fully of wit, humour, mystery and intelligence.

Instead it’s extremely bland, generic and rather boring. It may seem like the right thing to do to state your intentions but don’t follow it up with lists of Bands and Movies you like. It might have been ok on myspace when you were 14, but leave it out of dating profiles.

His profile by far not the worst, but there’s nothing here that would get attention or a response. I feel this is the biggest mistake guys make of them all and that is sounding BORING.

In retrospect, I think this was what changed online dating for me in the past when I realised my mistakes and what I needed to do.

Online dating is a competitive market. After realising what my competition (other Men) were doing, I realised what I needed to do differently and that was sound interesting.

It took me a few attempts but I had finally written a profile that was witty, interesting, captivating but most importantly mysterious.

Guys, if you tell her your life story on your profile and by the 3rd online message, what the hell will you talk about if you decide to meet her in person?

Conveying mystery can be difficult but it certainly does create curiosity and sexual tension.

Also, I think another mistake guys and even Women do with online dating, is take it too seriously.

People become so involved and attached to the outcome whether its sex or love, it can affect how they’re coming across to others.

I will be making a Guide to Online Dating/Plenty of Fish PDF soon.

Mr X

FIVE Romantic Ideas You Can Do For Your Girlfriend

13 Sep

Relationships can be hard work sometimes but the most important thing to keep a relationship alive is making sure that there is always romance around the corner. It’s the spark that connected you in the first place and what will keep you faithful to each other, but it does not have to be all red roses and Shakespearian poetry to be romantic.

The main element to romance is thoughtfulness; as long as your gesture is considered thoughtful by your partner then you’ve done the job right. Second element is surprise, that’s why you have to put your stealth tactics learnt playing hours of Metal Gear Solid to good use and be a bit secretive about it.

The least she expects it, the greater it will be. Surprise is good but causing a shock is not.

I’ve found for a guy, a relationship can seriously damage his lifestyle if he isn’t keeping on top of his game. A lot of Men stop what they were doing before the relationship because they are in that comfort zone of regular sex and not having to work for it.

So, take a look at yourself, step it up a gear and use some of these tried and tested romantic ideas on your Girlfriend, she’ll love you even more for it.

#5 – Leave a Note (or Two) – Are you up early before your Girlfriend or going away for the weekend? Why don’t you grab some post-it’s and leave notes for her when she wakes up/or get’s back from work.

Be creative, you can turn it into a treasure hunt (which she’ll love) and give her clues to a little gift (the size of the gesture is up to you) from her favourite chocolate, a cuddly toy or maybe some jewellery if you want to be flash. Or, you can just leave her a note, reminding her how beautiful she is. She’ll appreciate the compliment even more because you’ve gone out of your way to show it.

# 4 – Discover a new haunt – If the both of your regularly go to the same pub, wine bar or restaurant together or you always seem to be enjoying a night in, why not take her somewhere new. It does not have to be a special occasion, there are plenty of websites out there that have good reviews on places in your area.

Alternatively, you can check out a Museum, have a stroll through the park or go to the cinema.

# 3 – Get Texting – You may or may not be a ‘texter’ with your Girlfriend when you are apart, but consider getting a bit creative. If you usually update each other on your day at work or asking about dinner tonight, think outside the box.

Start the day off with a game, like “For today we have to end each text with lyrics of a song” (choose a theme like love, money etc.)  or you could always send her a poem…no it does not have to be up to the standards of William Shakespeare. Something silly will be better, as unless you’ve had a lot of practice, trying to be serious may end up sounding lame.

Instead write a Limerick or something funny but cute at the same time. This idea is great if she’s having a bad day at work and needs a text to cheer her up.

# 2 – Breakfast in Bed – Ok, this one may be rather common but if you’ve found you have not done this since her Birthday or that one time when you were making up for an argument then do it without a reason, other than a treat.

Either grab a new recipe online or make her something you know she likes. I remember my partner mentioning what she used to have for breakfast as a child and that she’s not had it for a long time, a few days later I made her the meal and she absolutely loved it. Women love being reminded of their childhoods.

# 1 – Write her a short story – This one may be for the guys who like to write, but even if you don’t it does not have to be a piece of art. It does not have to be that long either, 500 to 1000 words will do be creative. You can use this to spice up the bedroom by writing an erotic story or fantasize about a roleplay of hers you know she likes.

Keep it romantic and/or humorous, maybe e-mail it to her at work or print it out and put it in her bag to read. I’ve not met a Woman who does not like to read and the fact you created something will impress her.

Happy Romance.

Mr X

The Good, Bad and the Ugly sides of using Pornography

13 Sep

 

The rapid enhancement in technology has seen an increase in people viewing pornographic material than ever before. Decades ago, Men in anoraks would visit dodgy sex shops to get the latest magazines and videos for their viewing pleasure, but today it’s’ easily seen from the comfort of their own homes through the World Wide Web.

It’s no surprise that Porn is one of the internet’s most viewed content to date, with now a huge load of FREE websites offering videos and pictures all within a multitude of categories to suit your personal sexual appetites.

Whilst porn still has negative attachments in mainstream society, more of us are using it, including Women. A number of female friends or former sexual partners admitted to using pornography and were visiting websites that offered free streaming videos, the same ones I was using.

It takes a sexually liberated female to want to watch porn, but they’re doing so today than they would’ve found it hard to do decades ago. But is this easily accessible titillation a good or bad thing?

Well, that’s what I am ready to discuss here. The good, the bad and the ugly about viewing pornography…

The Good  

A lot of people would feel that there is no good associated with Porn but they are wrong. Used in the right way, porn can be an excellent aphrodisiac for couples or provide relief for a Man or Woman who want to release sexual energy and tension.

Of course using Porn with your partner can raise issues of insecurity, whether it’s the big breasted woman on screen causing the Woman to think about her own assets, or the extremely well endowed man causing the Guy to question the size and worth of his own member.

Like most things in life, to use Pornography in a positive way, it should only be used occasional and in extreme moderation. Sometimes you may be lacking in imagination and porn can provide you some instant fantasies.

However, do not get caught up in the habit. You should ask yourself, how often do you use porn? and when was the last time you did NOT use porn to fantasize and enjoy masturbation? If you’re concerned then I would suggest basic meditation before you masturbate and start visualising about your ideal self and your ideal woman in a wicked fantasy…

Think of you in your fantasy, with your partner and enjoy that visualisation. If you are relying on pornography to visualise and fantasize sexually then it can affect your reality, including your relationship with Women and has been known to lower your libido.

The Bad    

In the past I used to love pornography, I have always been a highly sexual male and intrigued about experiencing and viewing sexual content for many years. It’s no surprise that I ended up using porn on a regular basis but it started to become an extremely bad habit.

My male friends are also suffering from what I experienced in the past. Porn can actually decrease your libido and ruin your confidence and social skills. Years ago it was a habit of mine to go to bed with my laptop and masturbate to pornography and fall asleep, without any awareness about what I was doing to my mind and future circumstances.

One thing me and my male friends agree upon, is that we are all de-sensitised after years of watching pornographic material. You start off with the softcore stuff but that becomes tame and you seek more and more hardcore and bizarre action. It’s a vicious cycle and this is what can cause you to ruin your real life chances with Women.

Break the habit and stop viewing porn for a month. If you want something to masturbate to, then think of what your ideal Woman (or Man) would look like and use that as your image rather than relying on all sorts of content online that does not involve you.

Get out and meet Women, respect the opposite sex and enjoy their company. A bad habit with Porn will lead you to become negative and bitter in your relationships in all senses of the word.

The Ugly 

The ugly side to using porn can be extremely unhealthy. It can lead to sex addiction in which using porn can become part of your everyday life and you feel a disconnection to intimate relationships with women in your own life.

Typically it is Men who mostly suffer from sex addiction and many end up using escorts, prostitutes and brothels on a regular basis when porn no longer offers them satisfaction. It can become an expensive habit and whilst it provides a great relief at the time you need to ask yourself what it is doing to your own health and lifestyle.

The more you disconnect emotions with anything sexual; it can ruin your long term chances of having a successful and fulfilling relationship. If this is you, take back control of your own life, you have a choice.

Mr X

 

Let’s Get Tweeting

12 Sep

This isn’t a blog post but rather a plea to those Following me on here or to those passing by to FOLLOW me on TWITTER.

I do not just want to use Twitter to link my latest blog post, I want to have conversations in 140 characters with you. 

You can find me on Twitter HERE

Hope to tweet you soon.

Mr X

The Rules for ‘Friends With Benefits’

11 Sep

The Rules

  1. Short-Term Only
  2. Less ‘Hanging Out’,
  3. More ‘Fucking’
  4. Don’t get too Personal
  5. If it’s not about Sex, do not call, text or e-mail each other.
  6. Keep your Options Open
  7. Communicate about the rules.

Friends With Benefits or AKA Fuck Buddies are becoming a common type of relationship in our society. The deal is a Man and a Woman simply meet up for sex without any attachments like emotions and boundaries.

In most of these situations, someone ends up getting hurt because they start to develop feelings for the other person. The one who hasn’t developed feelings often feels confused and annoyed why the other person has gone against the fuck buddy deal they made.

Unfortunately feelings are not like a light switch, and people just can’t turn them off or on. Some people say that these types of relationships just can’t work, others will tell you they can.

In my personal experience, I believe they can work but you need to be strict and follow the rules. It’s usually breaking these rules that cause problems like I suggested above.

At University, I enjoyed a great FWB relationship with a beautiful Russian woman. We were both open and honest with our intentions and desires. We were both leaving Uni within a year, and moving to faraway places but we wanted sex and we fancied each other.

We would only contact each other when we were horny which was usually once or twice a week but sometimes we were both busy, as we didn’t cross social circles or studying the same courses.

There wasn’t any personalisation in our conversations to build rapport beyond what we had. That’s why that a healthy and successful FWB can work.

If you’ve experienced one that failed, think back, look at my suggestion of rules and think what went wrong. Did you start spending too much time together? Were you both not open about the boundaries of a FWB situation?

I think the biggest mistakes people make when becoming involved with someone, is making assumptions. Be open and be honest is the best advice I can give.

Mr X

Male Personalities – Which One Is Mr Right?

6 Sep

 

There is a common myth about every Man being the same. It may have been true decades ago when society was more conformed and orderly but today we’re an expansive race which has brought a variety of personalities.

Articles and Books have exhausted the solutions on finding ‘Mr.Right’ as Women seek to find that perfect Man to settle down with. Reading some of these, I find them either vague or over complicated.

If you are someone seeking to have a great relationship then I would first start with making yourself the best you can be. I feel like there’s too much focus on the other person when it comes to these advisories which can often leave people unhappy.

What the author says is Mr Right could be wrong for you. Sure, looking at it plainly there are guys you want to attract; loveable, genuine, honest and funny as opposed to guys you don’t want to attract; distant, cheaters, liars and bores.

Being the curious social watcher that I am, I feel like I’ve met enough Men and Women to have a fair idea on personality types.

For Men, I feel there are characters that fit on two sides of a scale, with one being submissive and the other being dominant. This is nothing to do with the D/s lifestyle that is popular topic amongst bloggers, but I feel these words are best to separate the following personalities.

The following persona’s are on the submissive side because they prefer and attract strong, dominant or confident Women. It does not necessarily mean that they all lack masculinity or confidence, but rather they are naturally passive which is a feminine quality.

Let’s take a look at these passive types of personalities in Men:

Mister Sorry – This guy just loves to please you, and can never do so enough. He will probably use the word ‘sorry’ a lot in his vocabulary and find making decisions hard, which he’ll pass on to you like “Where do you want to go?”and “What do you want to do?”

Women who love to be in total control and dominating may find this personality type attractive but I can’t imagine it would be a healthy relationship in the long term. Men with this personality are lacking in confidence and/or self-esteem, whilst the Women who enjoy this type of guy probably have issues of their own.

Standard Bloke –This is the most common archetype of Men because everything about them is average. They dress conservatively and like your typical bloke things like sport, movies and beer. Usually they don’t keep themselves fit and have a very relaxed but rigid philosophy to life.

They may start out being dominant in a relationship, but usually they end up being under the thumb of the Woman in a long term relationship. They are usually Men who are trapped in the ‘I can do no better’ or ‘Its not worth the effort’ way of thinking.

 The Lover – Some people think that Men who are more emotive and expressive either lack masculinity or have too much feminine influence. In recent history we’ve seen the Men’s movement become more in touch with their feminine side and this archetype is one that is comfortable with that.

They may be passive, but it usually does not mean they are a push over like the previous two types above. Instead, they’re more in tune with Women and how they think and can often play them at their own game. Usually, Men who are Lovers, are usually writers, poets or Musicians. Men who are often called Metrosexuals, usually fit into this category.

The opposite sides of these Men are the dominant types, who are more confident and action orientated but can also be dogmatic or egotistical. 

Mister Cocky – In his eyes, this guy can do no wrong. He may have some narcissism and a major lack of respect and understanding for Women. It is the bad boy that Women love to hate or is that hate to love?

They usually over run on confidence and like to let you know it. Where they lack conscience, they’re overloaded in intuition and taking action sometimes without thinking, which often leads them to cheating on their partners or avoiding commitment to a relationship. They’re ideal for a fuck buddy / friends with benefits type of situation but that is it.

Action and Adventurer – For those of you who like the quiet life, this guy is not for you. He may sound like the best of the bunch, but that’s only if you like a hectic lifestyle. This guy is always wants to go and can be a thrill seeker.

They can be social butterflies and usually have lots of friends, Men or Women which can be a problem to some. They’re confident, loud and are usually actors or performers because they like being the centre of attention.

The Dad – This is the guy who likes to take care of you but not in the needy way of Mister Sorry. Instead, they like to make decisions and look after you, but some Women like this form of control.

These Men are usually successful and can be great providers. What they say, goes and are perhaps old-fashioned in their philosophy, especially when it comes to a relationship. They make great father figures and are usually attractive to Women who want to start a family.

Conclusions

Although I’ve broke down the Male personality into six types there is of course more depth and explanation, but I like to keep my posts relatively short. I do want to make clear that there is always exception to the rule and some Men may have more than one of these types to their character.

There’s also no wrong or right here either, as each type has it’s pro’s and con’s. For matching the right type for you, I suggest you think about what type of Women you fit into and judge from there.

It is logical to think that a dominant Man and passive Woman make a good match and visa versa.

In the future, I’ll create a version looking at Female personality traits but for now, I’ll love to know what you think of the Male ones.

Mr.X

 

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